i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You are a genius and a whore.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
