omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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