Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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