Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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