We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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