and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
