do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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