just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
