I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
it glows. i had to have it.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
