i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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