Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
