Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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