Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
