I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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