We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
