she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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