this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
