I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
