So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just threw up on my dentist
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She needs sedatives and a leash
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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