am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
