So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
