Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
