I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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