Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
