grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I have already put on my inside pants.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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