To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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