You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
