I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
