Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
