she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
