im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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