At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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