Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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