I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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