i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
