I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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