I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I am one with the molecules
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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