yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
