bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
