his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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