The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
God, I missed his penis.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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