He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
