is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
