your thong is hanging out like whoa
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
