I wish you could order shots online.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
