she looked like the bat from fern gully.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
