Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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