I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
