walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
