He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I have surprise drugs for everyone
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
