Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
