Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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